When a food critic turns the poison pen on herself

Green tea cream puff September 18, 2008

Filed under: Pastry — crummb @ 9:49 am
Tags: , , , , ,

YEARS from now, when I am old and grey, I will remember the green tea cream puffs I made yesterday (taken from Pichet Ong’s The Sweet Spot) as the first thing that did it.

By “it”, I mean feeding my husband Z something that finally makes him sit up and shout across the hallway, “Wah! Very good!”. By “it”, I mean packing 12 cream puffs in a container the next morning for his office tea-time and see him exclaim, “All these for meee?” Then, when he reaches the office, in case I forgot, he reminds me by texting: “Very yum!”

I’m not saying this lightly. These cream puffs are a milestone. Revolutionary. Epoch-making.

To fully appreciate the magnitude of their achievement, you have to understand: Z doesn’t like desserts. He doesn’t even like to eat. After I’ve made a cake and am piling superlatives on it, he could take a bite, look me straight in the eye and say, “It’s okay lah.”

If he were native American, his name would be “Rains On Your Parade”.

For more of Z’s unfathomable dietary leanings, go here. Or read the following conversation we had in the car:

Me: (Gazing out the window) I wanna eat expensive food. I miss all that stuff I used to review.

Z: Can lah, we go eat. Once a month.

Me: You? It’d be wasted on you. I’d rather go with Jenny, or Chris.

Z: No, no, no Jenny. No Chris. Eat with me. You have to educate me what.

Me: I’m talking about really fine food leh. Like this martini-glass thing I had at Iggy’s: cauliflower mousse at the bottom, Japanese uni in the middle and shiso jelly on top. Two mouthfuls and it’s gone. (Translation for non-Singaporean readers: Iggy’s serves modern European food with strong Japanese influences, rated top 100 in the world by Restaurant magazine)

Z: How much?

Me: $150 for lunch set.

Z: Whaaat?

Me: But it’s got five or six courses. It’s considered reasonable.

Z: Okay lah. Then we eat somewhere at $70 per head. Reasonable?

Me: Hmmm… yeee-ah… That’s like Da Paolo without wine… (Translation: Da Paolo is a mid-upper Italian chain that serves freshly made pasta in beige-soaked, designer surrounds)

Z: Seventy bucks and it’s without wine?! Sh**. It’s just carbonara man.

Me: So? Are we eating or not?

Z: I’m just thinking about the bike parts I can buy with $70.

Me: Fine food is like that what.

Z: I’d rather eat chup chye png. (Translation: A $3 plate of rice with choice of three dishes)

Me: Chiak sai lah. (Translation: Eat my waste matter, why don’t you.)


8 Responses to “Green tea cream puff”

  1. Plebhubby Says:

    this baker has the memory of an elephant…I better not lie to her…

    Her cream puffs are fantastic…flavourful without being too rich, the cream just melt away…fluffy too ..YUM
    Think im gonna nag her into making some more!

  2. wordsmith Says:

    date me! date me!
    Just had dream-like pasta sheets coated with pesto last night at forlinio…yum.

  3. Daphne Says:

    It is Yum !!

  4. Clare Says:

    Haha this post is funny.

    Sigh, what do I do about my food-obsessed man’s ballooning weight… Of course, I’ve contributed to it with my own greed.

    I have another domestic goddess friend with a hubby who not only can’t appreciate fine dining, he thinks the best thing she ever made was some pasta dish with canned sauce. Never mind all the stewing and baking she ever did from scratch. Oh, and he can’t even eat spicy food or take alcohol.

  5. crummb Says:

    omgosh! has my Z taken on a second wife?!! surely we’re talking about the same man… there can’t be two men in the world who can’t appreciate fine dining, and can’t take spicy food and alcohol. ask your friend if her hubby also likes this toxic indian-muslim dish called chicken bistik. if he does, i’m calling the lawyers.

  6. Clare Says:

    Hahaha. I know my friend’s hubby and it’s not yours.
    What’s chicken bistik? Sounds like chicken-in-a-biskit.

  7. crummb Says:

    i never knew this dish existed until i met Z. it’s pieces of fried chicken and fries DROWNING in this toxic gravy of tomato ketchup, chilli sauce and copious amounts of RED INK. i am sure Z’s intestines are red on the inside.

  8. Midori Says:

    chicken bistik sounds suspiciously like halal mutton chop.

    hey, your conversations with your husband first-class lah. nowadays my husband just pretends to listen to me…

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